Every group of friends has that one guy that you can always count on to be the drunkest one. No matter what the occasion you can always rest assured knowing that you wont be the drunkest one because you’re friends with that guy. Life is good and fun when you know you can count on old reliable to drink too much too quickly.
That time at the baseball game…that time at the high school reunion…that time a few guys just went out to Applebees. This guy just can’t hold his liquor.
But then one day something changes. Turns out your pal can’t make it out. He would never miss a night of drinking and hanging with the guys so something serious must be up. Maybe he scored court-side tickets or maybe his liver finally imploded….in any case your fallout guy is gone. You’re flying into dangerous territory.
Drunk stories are indeed FOREVER. Do not forget that…especially when you’re considering that 5th tequila shot. But by then it’s too late. You’re over the cliff and your friends keep egging you on. Before you know it your shirt is off…and then your pants are off.
Oh crap, you realize that you’re now at the bottom of the totem pole and you lack the coherency to dig yourself out of this hole. What to do? YOU SHOULD GO HOME!!
Easier said than done. You ask your sober friend to give you a ride home but he’s having a blast and doesn’t want the fun to end.
At this point you’ve not only crossed the line but you’ve vomited profusely on it. In this situation the only thing that you should be thinking of is DON’T CRAP YOUR PANTS. Hell, you’re not even wearing pants…which makes it that much worse (and funny).
And then it’s too late…
If you’re lucky you made it to a toilet at some point. If you’re not lucky…well let’s not get into those details.
The moral of this story is always make sure there’s someone drunker than you. That drunkest friend always gets egged on and ends up drunker beyond belief while the rest of the group is fine.
MAKE SURE THAT DRUNK DUDE IS WITH YOU OR ELSE YOU WILL SHIT YOURSELF